Confrontation

I hate confrontation. It's the worst.

It stresses me out. I hate having to talk about my feelings. I guess I hate being vulnerable. 

This past week I decided to confront one of my dear friends because I was having some thoughts that were making me bitter, so instead of just letting the friendship fizzle out, I went out on a limb and said something. 

We talked about it the other night and it was super beneficial. It took me a few tries and some encouragement to get the words out (I think I was trying to guard my heart from potential pain), but once I spit it out, things were good. It was so good to discuss the issue, and hear what my friend had been thinking. 

It made me think about how many things grow, fester, and eventually explode just because we aren't willing to communicate. We never know exactly what another person is thinking, so before we jump to conclusions or get upset, we should just try to express our thoughts and feelings. This is so much easier said than done, but it would be so much better for our mental health. 

This situation with my friend could have easily gone sour and end up with us (or at least me) never speaking to the person again, but now that we discussed it, our friendship is stronger than ever, and I look forward to memories that will be made together. 

So yeah....communicate!

Distracted

A moment of honesty: I have been incredibly distracted from my relationship with God recently.

Since getting back to school, I have been spending all of my time either with friends, practicing, or doing homework, and I have let my relationship with God slip to the sidelines. Because of this, doubts have been seeping in about different things that don't usually bother me. I know it's the enemy because when I'm praying regularly, these thoughts don't get in. Please pray for me while I try to get back on track and focused on the only thing that truly matters - my Father. 

Pinterest Got Me Thinking

This is the blog post that inspired me to make a blog, so here we go.

I've seen a lot of things on Pinterest that talk about what a makes a person worthy of being in your life...

Now, this is a great thought initially, but I got to thinking about it, and I wasn't so sure anymore. It is indeed important to have people in your life who will be there to support you and help you, but if those are the only people in your life, you might end up empty. Also, I don't think this is something Christ would encourage us to believe. Supportive friends are an incredible blessing, and I don't know what I would do without mine, but Christ encourages us to go beyond our friends. 

There are people in my life who aren't always there for me. I have people who hurt me and don't really know or care that they do. It's tempting to just cut them out of my life, and I have a few times, but this is not what Christ would want. He tells us to love our enemies. We need to love those who hurt us and those who never talk about anything but themselves. I know a few people who rarely, if ever, ask how I'm doing. It's a struggle for me to continue to hang out with them, but I try to do it because I know that these people need a friend. I may not get anything out of the relationship, but sometimes that's okay. I have a beautiful group of friends who will support me through the hard times, and because of that, I need to strive to be that for whoever else needs it. 

None of us are worthy of anything. We have all fallen short and done terrible things, so to say that another person is not worthy of being in my life, that's making myself greater than I am. I have hurt my friends before and not cared for them as I should have. I am not worthy of being in their life, but they still love me and accept me. For that I am eternally grateful, and I am going to strive to be that friend to whoever needs it. I encourage you to ponder this and let me know your thoughts. I will be praying for you, and I would appreciate prayers from you.

Food and Friends

The simple things in life can be the best blessings. 

Yesterday I enjoyed a lot of quality time with great friends. A trip to Starbucks started the festivities, and then it was time for dinner at Main Street Pizza. The food was good, the fellowship was good, no complaints. We dropped one friend off and picked up another, then headed to Menchie's for Ben's first froyo experience.

He enjoyed it thoroughly 

After Menchie's, we all decided to head out to see a friend play in one of his bands. This was a new experience. I tried some sushi for the first time ever and was pretty pleasantly surprised. There were lots of laughs, and the music was fantastic. I'm very fond of these people. I couldn't ask for a better night.

This morning, I went with a couple of these fine fellows, to see some more fine fellows (Milligan's Heard Mentality) sing at church. Of course, we had to stay for the potluck after the service. Needless to say, there was plenty of delicious food. Tonight is a music major/minor cookout at a professor's house, and I don't even want to think about how much food will be there, but I can't wait to spend another night with my favorite people. I live a truly blessed life.

♫ We Are Family ♫

The Milligan Music Department is the best. And I'm not biased at all. This is my completely logical opinion.

Isn't it beautiful?!

Whenever I am with music people, I am as comfortable as I am with my family. Honestly, it's not a surprise because we spend pretty much all of our time together - in class, doing homework, eating, rehearsing, performing, we do it together. We interact with our music faculty as we would with a member of our family. I can talk to them about anything, and I often do. Many of them know about whatever is happening in my life at that moment. It is such a blessing to know that these people who I connect with so deeply on a musical level are also there to support me in the everyday workings of life. 

We are a family, and Seeger Chapel is our home. I spend pretty much all of my time there, and many times I am barefoot and in sweatpants practicing my craft along with several of my brothers and sisters.

It's Friendship

Sometimes I get really overwhelmed with love for my friends. This happened today, so this post is dedicated to all of my beautiful, incredibly loving, and caring friends. (I also picked today because I am incredibly sleepy, so I don't think I can form too many complete sentences.) Thank you all for always being there for me. You'll never know how much I love you.

*Not pictured: Sarah Beth Hill, Jim & Stephanie Dalrymple, Ethan Henley, the Zeigler family, Leanna Westerhoff, and others I'm sure*

This girl. Is pretty great. 

I have learned so much from all these people

I look up to this girl so much

Throwback  to one of the first days of freshman year

Game nights are always good

One of the best birthday dinners ever

These girls :)

Two of my favorites!!!

Cousins :)

This girl is the sweetest

Fire alarm adventures with the best possible people

These people make me smile

Love this girl more than most

Blessed that my sister is one of my best friends

Thankful for this guy

Former roommate, never fails to amuse or encourage me :)

Love herrrrr

So incredibly blessed by these people for many years

The best friends to grow up with :)

Now what?

Heritage had their first performance this evening. We've been working hard since Wednesday to get these pieces ready, and now that it's over, I don't know what to do with myself. I've been used to spending all day with these same 7 fantastic people, and now there's no plan. I was getting pretty depressed about this, so I decided to head down to Seeger to play it out (how I normally deal with emotions). When I got there, a couple of my Heritage family members were sitting on a bench right outside, so I chatted with them about what I was feeling, and they were feeling the same. I then went inside, but instead of sitting down at the piano, I decided to head up to the sound booth to talk it out with my good friend (who was thankfully still there.) We talked for awhile, and I left encouraged. Partly because of the time spent, and partly because I was going out with some Heritage people hehe. 

I'm blessed to have people who I love so deeply and who also care about me. I'm grateful for the time spent so far and look forward to the many memories we will make in the coming year. Now I'll just try to focus on that thought instead of the thought that I'll have to go at least every other day without Heritage rehearsals...that's no good.

Too Good To Be True

This last week has been fantastic. As a result, I haven't had time to blog as much as I was. (This is probably how it will be when school is back in full swing.)

I moved back to school on Tuesday afternoon. I'm living in a new dorm this year, so figuring out how to store everything and decorate was an adventure. This is the final product: 

I'm pretty excited about it. It's cozy :) Anyway, my first day back, I spent time catching up with beautiful people and got to partake of the Mid City fries that I mentioned in my previous entry.

Wednesday started Heritage boot camp, and let me tell you, I am so blessed, honored, and thankful to be part of this marvelous group of people. For those of you who don't know, Heritage is Milligan's "premier a capella group". It consists of 8 people - 2 on each part. It's a magical thing to be a part of. We rehearsed all day, then played games late into the evening. Lots of laughter was shared.

Thursday brought Panera bagels, student-led rehearsals, exciting musical advancements, and dinner and games at our professor's house. Lots of bonding and again, laughter.

Today we're rehearsing, of course, but the exciting part is we will finally be venturing somewhere on campus to share our pieces with some faculty - our first performance together! To finish it off, we'll be having dinner at Carrabba's. Another new adventure for me! Tomorrow evening we will be singing at Matriculation, and then boot camp will be over. I don't want to think about it. 

I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for this beautiful, talented, hilarious, and loving group of people. My life has already been greatly enriched by this experience, and I thank God for it everyday. How awesome it is to make music with something that God placed directly in us since day one - our voices. Several times during rehearsal, I will find myself smiling just thinking about it. 

Here's to a great year!

Soon.

Blessed to live here most of the time
↓ Bacon Cheese Fries. Yes

SOON. I WILL BE BACK AT MILLIGAN.

I'm a tad bit excited. Why this is:

• FRIENDS
• Musical collaborations
• Life discussions/lessons
• Late night musical revelations in Seeger
• Incredibly beautiful, caring, wise, and talented professors
  
• Fall in East Tennessee. Let's be real.
• Mid-City
• Main Street Pizza
• Cookout
• Lots of Starbucks with a variety of friends

So yeah. It's a pretty fantastic place. 

Short and Sweet

This weekend I was blessed to be able to go visit what I consider my hometown. When we pulled into town, all I could say was "It's so little!" The city where my school is has around 65,000 people, and where I've been living this summer has around 300,000, so when I returned to my town of 5,000 after not being there for a year, my eyes were opened to how small it really is. There's also no traffic, relatively, which was very strange.

Aaaanyway, we got into town Thursday evening, and visited 4 groups of friends, which was a great start to the weekend. Friday, we traveled to my Grandparents' house, where the family had gathered to celebrate my Grandma's 75th birthday. That was a blessing since I hadn't seen most of them since Christmas, and I got to see my cousin/best friend one last time before she heads off to college! AH! (More on her later.) 

SATURDAY, I left my Grandparents' in the morning, and headed back to town. I visited with some friends, and then went out with some fantastic friends from high school. It's amazing how you can not see friends for a year (and hardly speak at all), but when you're reunited nothing has changed. That's how it was, and so much laughter was shared. It was a great night. When we got back, we ditched the boys and headed out to one of my girl friend's house for a sleepover. We snacked, talked, laughed, and played Taboo (Junior...). When we eventually got sleepy, we decided to put in a movie, and since we're girls, we watched "P.S. I Love You." We cried during about 25% of it. So sad. 

Then this morning, we went to church at the church where I am still a member (even though I've only been there twice in the last year...) It was great to see everyone, even if it was only for a few minutes. To end it all, mom and I went and met my high school piano teacher. I love this woman so much. She has made a huge impact on my life and thinking as a musician. You should meet her.

Can't wait to return to my sweet, sweet town. Hopefully it'll be less than a year between visits this time.

Last Day of Work Thoughts

While searching for summer jobs in the past, I always rejected the idea of working in fast food. One summer I worked out in a cornfield, pollinating corn instead of working fast food. That's how desperate I was. In August, my parents moved to a new (big) city, and I came to live with them for the summer. Toward the end of the school year, I started turning in applications online. When I got to town, I continued turning in applications everywhere but fast food. I was then encouraged to apply to Culver's. I was a little hesitant, but I was getting seriously desperate (and my parents were stressing me out), so I turned in an application. I won't bore you with all the details, but I ended up getting hired. I wasn't thrilled, but I was relieved to have a job. 

First day.

Let me just say God loves to surprise us, and He is too good to me. This summer has been a great experience. I absolutely loved developing relationships with the people I worked with, and my whole opinion of the fast food industry has been transformed. (Plus I got to wear a tie, so that was pretty awesome.) 

I told mom the other day that I have had too many great experiences and have too many wonderful people in my life. Even if I'm having a fabulous time where I am in life, I always think of something in the past and think "Oh man, that was great. I wish I could go back to that," or I think about my friends and family that are spread all over the globe and wish I could be with them. Then I had a thought: 

HEAVEN

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  

Revelation 21: 3-4

Seriously. How great will it be? I won't have to long to be with my friends because we'll all be there together (at least, that's the goal.) Now let's be ready for when He comes to take us there.

Please

So in case you didn't know, there's a new CD out today.

I don't think I've ever felt so much emotion in a single album. I can't explain it, I just ask that you go listen to it. Please. Be ready for an experience.

A few of my initial favorites (click on the name):

Devil's Backbone

Same Old Same Old

From This Valley

Now please go listen to the rest. You'll be glad you did.

Sisters

There's one girl in my life who I have known my entire life. Her name is Lauren. She is my sister. At this point in my life I have pretty fond feelings for her. However, this was not always the case. I asked my mom when the fighting began, and she reminded me about my first birthday party when my dear sister got impatient with my gift-unwrapping pace, and decided to take on the task herself. All I could do was scream. I can't explain it, she just got under my skin, and I have no doubt I got under her's. There were some good moments throughout the years - playing Barbies, building forts, listening to Adventures in Odyssey on family road trips, etc, but there was a lot of fighting. I remember one night it got so bad that we were just chasing each other through the house screaming. It was not pleasant, especially for my parents, I'm sure. During her senior year of high school, she started dating a certain gentleman who I did not like or approve of in the slightest, and since she was always with him, we hardly spent any time together.

But don't fret, the story takes a happy turn. When she went away to college, we started to miss each other, I guess. I got to go spend a weekend with her, experiencing college life during "Lil' Sibs' Weekend" at Anderson. This was a fun weekend, and I think that's when we actually started to like each other. We spent another year apart since I was still in high school, and then we ended up living in the same vicinity again. She had transferred to Milligan, and that is where I decided to spend my four years. She and her husband, Adam, had an apartment on campus, and I would go over there at least once a week to hang out with her. One night stands out in my mind: I think Adam was gone on a trip or something, and I wanted to hang out with Lauren, so I called and asked if I could come over. She initially said no because she had to do the dishes, but then I told her I would help with the dishes, so she welcomed me in with open arms. We had so much fun that night. I think I was freaking out about a boy, and we were both just really goofy. Much laughter was shared. 

Last year, Lauren and Adam lived off campus, but I still went over there often (to do laundry, mainly, but still). I enjoy my time with them more than they know, and I look forward to a new year. Don't worry, guys, I'll still be visiting, laundry never ends. I haven't valued my sister's friendship for very long, but I am so very thankful for her. Thanks for always being there, Lo Lo! I love you so much!

And now, a few pictures...

Aren't we cute

She claims I was choking her...

I love her a lot

At the wedding...I was the Maid of Honor

At Milligan

Sunday Not So Funday

Let me preface this entry by saying that I have been working at a fast-food restaurant this summer. More on that later.

I realized a troubling fact at work today: Sunday is the most unpleasant day of the week to work. I have been told several times by different people that Sunday is their least favorite day to work in the restaurant industry, and now I have experienced it for myself. This was troubling to me because the Sunday lunch crowd (not surprisingly) consists of mainly church-goers. Now, everyday has its challenges and rude customers, but Sunday is the worst, and that should not be. I don't want to point any fingers because I'm sure I'm just as guilty as the next person, but the experience of being on the other side of the counter has definitely changed my perspective, and I'd like to encourage everyone else to think twice before treating any interaction as just a hoop to jump through to get what you want.

Our society moves so fast. We don't even see people as individuals anymore, and this is deeply sad and troubling. I never realized how bad it was until I got this job, and I am incredibly grateful for this experience (never thought I'd say that). I'm not saying you have to get to know the person's life story or anything, but just realize that the person you're dealing with has joys, struggles, and opinions about religion. Christ calls us to love everyone, even the cashier at the fast food place or gas station. Everyone. Even when it's hard and the last thing you want to do is smile. 

I'm not trying to preach at anyone because I'm telling this as much to myself as I am trying to encourage you to reflect on this. I realize it goes the other way, too. Sometimes the person you're interacting with isn't thinking of you as an individual either, but we can't control them. All we can do is try to be aware of how we are treating others and model ourselves after Jesus Christ as much as we can.

Now take a look at this catchy music video (by my favorite people) that kind of exemplifies these thoughts:

Enamored

Enamored: marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness

My friends and family know that when I find something I enjoy, I get really excited and think and talk about it more than I probably should. Usually this "obsession" lasts a few months (or years) and then dwindles away. I like to think that as I get older, these obsessions are fewer and more deserving of my love than some from the past. A few examples:

• High School Musical 1, 2, and 3
• (As a result) Zac Efron
• Owl City
• The Dark Knight
• Twilight

Now, I still love most of these things (unless I have been scarred after one certain movie, *coughcough* Zac Efron), but I have slowly realized that they are not necessarily deserving of so much of my time and attention. I have lived without obsession for about a year or two, now, but recently I have come dangerously close to developing a new one... 

Rhett and Link: "Internetainers". They grew up together in North Carolina, and then (with their wives and children) moved to Los Angeles to further their career together. Oh yeah, and they both have engineering degrees, which prompted my parents to ask why in the world they are spending their lives making Youtube videos. I don't know, but I have no complaints, either. I don't really understand why I enjoy their Youtube videos so much, but I have watched far many more than probably reasonable. Specifically, I have been watching their "Mythical Morning Show," which began in January of 2012. The show is usually about 10 minutes long and is just them sitting at a table talking about whatever they feel like discussing that day: news stories, recent scientific discoveries, childhood stories, or amusing life anecdotes. It's clean (which is very much appreciated since not much is anymore), and how they play off of each other is what keeps me coming back. Plus, it's educational!...kind of...sometimes. Oh well, if it's a waste of my time, I'll make the most of it before I go back to school and have no time to possibly waste.

For your viewing pleasure: Season 1, Episode 1

Do Not Fear

Tonight after work, some friends and I decided to go see "The Conjuring," a newly released horror movie. Now, I am not one who usually jumps at the chance to see a scary movie, especially recently, but I wanted to hang out with these people, so I decided to go. Of course, as soon as we sat down in the theater, all I could think was "Why am I here?" I was nervous, and I had good reason to be. 

"The Conjuring" is based on a true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren, who were "demonologists." Long, complicated story short, they try to help a family rid their newly purchased house of a very strong evil spirit. Now, when I first decided to go to this movie it was purely for entertainment sake, but the more I prepared for it, I realized that this could be a great opportunity for evangelism. I have been praying all summer that God would be involved in the relationships that are formed at work and that He would use me as a light to those around me. I have been trying to love them as best I can, but the topic of religion just hasn't come up, so I was excited that we might discuss it after the movie. 

I'll be the first to admit that I was hiding behind my hands about 25-30% of the time purely because of suspense (and some not so pleasant images), but after the movie makers worked their magic, I felt no more fear. I gladly explained to my friends that I have a God who is more powerful than the demons portrayed in this movie. I do not have to be afraid because I know that I belong to Him, and He will protect me. Their responses were pretty much that they didn't really believe in demons or anything, so they weren't really worried, but at least I got a seed in there. I'll be praying (and I hope you will, too) that the seed grows and more opportunities will come up for them to learn more about the Savior, Jesus Christ. 

The film ended with this quote from Ed Warren: "The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges on which we decide to follow." Please join me in praying for everyone who sees this movie, that they might grow curious and seek out this God who defeats such demons as portrayed in the movie.

"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you." Romans 16:20

Introductions

Hi there! 

This blog, as you can see from the title, will probably mainly center around music. I am about to begin my junior year of college and will be continuing my studies in music. I am now a Music Education major with a vocal emphasis, but my primary instrument is the piano. 

I have been playing for about 13 years but wasn't really passionate about it until maybe my senior year of high school; the excitement definitely took a jump when I started college. I played Chopin's Fantasy Impromptu for my high school talent show my senior year, after working on that piece for about two years. When I started at Milligan, I learned three pieces of music in about two months - memorized and everything. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I had absolutely no idea that I was capable of learning and memorizing a piece of music so quickly, not to mention multiple! Since my freshman year, I have been pushing myself along with the help of my professors and peers. I won't go into the details, but I am beyond thankful for all the wonderful masterpieces that I now have under my fingers, and the excitement I have to get back to school is beyond words. I have been working on pieces for my junior recital, which is in just a few short months, and I can't wait to see what else I have thrown at me to stretch my horizons. 

Another huge part of my musical life at Milligan is accompanying. I have the privilege of accompanying three fabulous vocalists regularly, and they have added to my musicality more than I could ever imagine. I couldn't be more thankful for them and their professors. I'm sure I will have many musings about magical rehearsals, lessons, and performances with these lovely ladies. 

I suppose that's enough for this first post. I can't guarantee that this blog will be very interesting or entertaining (or consistent), but I'm excited about it, and I hope you will continue to read it every now and then!

With love,

Amanda

"If music be the food of love, play on." - William Shakespeare